Miranda Kerr sends Heavenly Kisses to all Mothers everywhere

Dear Reader,

Miranda’s sending out Mother’s Day™ kisses to all mothers everywhere.

Even ones whose bodies are packed in lime in old barrels at the back of sheds.

Count how many times Miranda says “fresh” in this video. Ok, it’s only three, but it seems like a lot more. I reckon there’s something in her briefing notes about this fragrance being fresh.

I think she misses her dad, dear Reader. Isn’t that cute? Especially since this perfume is being released to capitalise on Mother’s Day™?

Happily, the ace reporter hot on the trail of the release of Heavenly Kiss fragrance followed Miranda to the launch and interviewed a whole bunch of grody ppl i’ve never heard of.

She also interviewed Miranda again, who confessed that her first kiss was with a young boy, when she was a young girl.

Uh-huh.

My first kiss was a young girl, when i was a young boy.

Miranda and me have so much in common.

Except for being lingerie models, intercoursing with Orlando Bloom, and being the face of a perfume.

But that aside, we’re practically the same person.

At this launch, Miranda was giving away glossy photos of herself with her actual kiss-mark (there must be a better word for it than that, dear Reader!) printed on.

Imagine that.

Would she be giving that to the women who’ve come to the launch of a new limited edition perfume, or to the men?

And what sort of dude gets invited to the launch of a new perfume?

I’ve never been invited to the launch of a new perfume.

Any ideas what i’m doing wrong?

Yours,
Gullybogan