Auto Park Assist

Flickr photo by wolvo.

Dear Reader,

I’m not really a car nut, but i like to read about new technology and stuff.

It’s a boy thing.

I was reading this article about the new Volkswagen Tiguan.

Catchy name, huh. It’s a portmanteau of ‘tiger’ and ‘iguana’.

Two animals that i immediately think of when i think compact semi-off-roader.

And i don’t think about guano. Not even once.

Anyway, we were in the carpark at Knox City and i was telling Princess about this new technology that VW has. It’s called “park assist”, and apparently allows the car to park itself with very little input from the driver.

The numerous cutting edge technologies of the Tiguan include the world’s first Park Assist system implemented on an SUV. This optional feature enables automated steering functionality while reversing into a parking space parallel to the road. You simply control the accelerator pedal, brake and clutch while the Tiguan steers into a pre-measured space under sensor control. Whenever you manually intervene in the steering process, the Park Assist function is deactivated. [source]

You can even stand on the running board in a blue strapless dress with the door open, and the car will park itself.

Of course, i was telling Princess about this while i was parking the car.

And, of course, as i finished straightening up and rolling just far enough forward to fit in snugly, i ran into the car in front of us.

Not hard enough to set off the airbag, but it was a bump, and no doubt about it.

The car in front had one of those new-fangled ‘tow bar’ things.

They should be required to have orange flags on them, like bicycles used to have.

Having just been discussing the pros and cons of computerised robotic parking assistance, to her credit, Princess didn’t make the obvious comment.

She’s just so good to me that way.

I checked the car in front for damage, and it was fine, by the way. So rest assured that i’m not hooning around knocking off bumper bars and stoving in boot-scuttles in the Knox City car park.

Yours,
Gullybogan