The iPod ‘Boombox’ (Ghetto Blaster) – Portable muzak, Old School style

Flickr photo by Ben Pearce.

Dear Reader,

Yo.

Remember the days when ‘portable music’ meant that your stereo system had a handle on the top?

Oh, yeah.

Music enthusiasts with shoulder-mounted ghetto blasters (sorry if that term is offensive to anyone) would wander about, sharing the music, man, sharing the music.

The ghetto blaster even became a sort of fashion accessory. You had to not only have this enormous fricken thing to lug about, but – if you wanted to attract the babes – it had to be all painted up, and preferably encrusted with random crap as well, giving it ‘individuality’ cred.

That guy who invented the Sex Pistols, Malcolm McLaren, he went through a phase of exploiting ghetto skipping songs, and put together this ‘Duck Rock’ ‘movement’ based on it that, in Australia at least, involved a radio station competition to win a ridiculously modded ghetto blaster that featured a cow’s horn sticking out of one end.

Sleep is for Snow White

Time was, you couldn’t walk past the steps of Flinders Street Station without there being some lad with a 200W ghetto blaster going, sharing some awful music he was fond of with the commuting masses.

The ghetto blaster survived in-roads from the Walkman, but Sony had put the writing on the wall.

Then that guy with the bagpipes arrived on the steps of Flinders Street, and then everyone switched to iPods.

[Some simplification of the timeline may be involved there.]

I was reading in Borders this book called The Most perfect thing ever, or somesuch title, about the arrival of the iPod. It included the observation that a return visitor to Noo Yoik noticed how quiet the streets were, compared to his last visitation.

It seemed that everyone had an iPod screwed into their head, and that no-one was talking anymore. The whole of Noo Yoik had turned from Empire State into Zombified Solipsist State.

Along with public speech, publicly shared muzak had become a thing of the past, now that everyone had their own internal soundtrack.

But, let’s face it, ppl like to share.

The Return of the Ghetto Blaster

Happily, since the iPod is such a third-party gadget-provider’s wet dream, you can now drag yourself back to the Old School days of ghetto blasting using your shiny, underpowered little personal stereos.

…sorry, but size *is* important…

iPod Boombox

If you’re like me, dear Reader, you probably spent a lot of your formative years sticking tab A into slot A. IF so, then this iPod Boombox will be right up your alley.

Zip up your tracksuit, gather your crew and get ready for a retro-tastic dance-off because the iPod Boombox is here. This utterly ingenious flat-packed iPod speaker system looks just like an ’80s style boombox. You know, the shoulder-riding sound systems used by breakdancers, posers and anyone else keen to assault the eardrums of the general public. And get this, it’s made of cardboard. Why? Don’t ask us. It’s like that (that’s just the way it is).

Created by our clever old homies over at Suck UK, the iPod Boombox is a doddle to assemble. In fact it’s easier than doing the robot. Simply unfold the cardboard, attach the speakers, bung in the batteries and you’re away. Obviously you’ll need to supply the iPod (well what do you expect for £20).

Uh-huh.

A cardboard ghetto blaster.

Now there’s some street cred.

Plus, if anyone feels moved to do some breakdancing, you can unfold the cardboard, put it down on the ashfelt, and they can spin to their little heart’s content.

Poppin.

The Spirit of St. Louis Aviation-style iPod Boombox

Still got those posters of Spitfires up on your bedroom walls? Your car has nose art? You go to sleep every night secretly hoping that Amelia Earhart will parachute naked into your boudoir, but somehow not dead and nineteen years old and hot for your lovin’?

Well, now you can combine your retro aviation fetishes with your iPod, and share your RAF Band tunes with those around you.

The Spirit of St. Louis iPod Boombox is a thing that looks pretty much like a field radio from World War II. Except that it has USB sockets and a place for your iPod Touch to snuggle down into.

Ridiculous?

Any more ridiculous than underwater speakers for your iPod, for all those times you need to take your music swimming?

And that’s all i have to say about that.

Yours,
Gullybogan