gullybogan

Dear Reader,

You’ll recall last week when Princess and me were having this lovely discussion about taking in a troubled teen?

Cool.

Well, as luck would have it, one of Princess’s colleagues in the charity she works with has thrown her teenage daughter out of home, so we figure we can just have that one.

The girl kept having intercourse with boys, and the mother in the end decided that she needed to put her foot down. The most effective place to put her foot down would be over the girl’s genital opening, which would stop all those boys having intercourse with her, but that’s not exactly practical.

So she told the girl something along the lines of, “if you intercourse one more boy, you’re out, missy!”

Her name’s not Missy, but i think i’ll use that to refer to her from now on.

So – inevitably – Missy intercoursed this one more boy, and her mamma found out (presumably she carried out regular cum-stain checks on the girl’s undies) and threw the girl the fuck out on her ear.

I asked Princess how this fits in with the mother being on this charity squad, and doesn’t charity begin at home and all that, and Princess said that she didn’t really understand how it had happened, but that she was sure that it wouldn’t take long for things to sort themselves out.

And they have sorted themselves out, marvellously.

The girl now sleeps at the house of this boy in Boronia (the dad’s long gone, the mum’s alcoholic, the dog sleeps on top of the pizza boxes in the kitchen), so now she can get all the intercourse she wants.

Problem solved.

Except, of course, that it’s not really solved at all.

So now we’re in this tricky position of being sort of friends with this girl, and her mother, and her father, and we want to offer Missy our place to get herself together in so that she can stop being the thing that the boy and his mates do while they’re waiting for their turn on the Guitar Hero, but if we do that, then we’ll be in some way enabling her to not reconcile with her parents.

See how that’s tricky?

And, plus (pron. “ploo”), if she does move in here, i’m pretty sure she’ll be wanting that steady stream of semen she’s been receiving to remain uninterrupted. I’m not really sure i want to have some teenage girl getting grunted in the guest room every night of the week. That’d be difficult on all sorts of counts.

Mind you, she is, like, nineteen.

That’s an important detail i should have mentioned earlier, huh.

Princess and me were together when we were nineteen, driving around in her car and having sticky adventures, so i consider it to be a very mature age, and one at which you can make all sorts of grown-up decisions about who you intercourse and so on, even though child psychologists now tell us that the adult brain is not fully formed until age 25.

But, technically, she’s still a teen, and she’s certainly troubled (i can’t imagine her self-esteem – long term – will be aided by her vagina being used as an expansion pack for the Playstation®), so it would be appropriate for us to help her out…

What to do, what to do…

Maybe i could get Princess a puppy instead.

What do you think?

Yours,
Gullybogan